Klok's Writings

Now a lot of you probably know I'm big on the whole writing thing. I love roleplaying, and I write blogs, articles, stories and occasionally poems and songs. This first batch is going to be an old one, since I haven't written much lately (that will change, don't you worry). Eh, onward, I guess.

--

Dreamless (12-1-06)

Destiny, in its most brutal form.
All the dreams that might have been,
All the happiness, and sorrow you might have experienced,
Gone forever. For you there will be no tomorrow.

Destiny has led you here,
And here you shall rest forever.
Succumb to the sleep of eternity.

I told you it was inevitable,
Spending all your days with false hopes.
Life is a lie.
Crying heavens now exist
Screaming all your folly.

I will render you dreamless
No happiness to give you peace
No terrors to haunt you.

Your mind is null.
Indulge in such regrets in the next life.

Ultimatum is nigh.
You have a choice.
Heed my words and depart this life
Or realize your true potential.

--

Ashed Memories (2006)

I don't feel these tears
But here they are.
Suddenly springing,
refusing to leave me.
Why can't I notice them?

When they all do, and ask
what's wrong. And I say,
"Nothing."

Sounding off, the alarm is
screaming, mindlessly droning
until it's been silenced.

Smiling and laughing
like nothing is wrong,
my joyful facade is only deceiving.

Basically living,
holding out when I can,
I learn to realize,
it's just an empty shell.
A soul stained by
ashed memories.

This heart can't take much more,
of the lies and rotting promises.
They only preserved my mind,
but I think I've lost that as well.

My soul, my mind,
all emotions, and breath of
life itself.

Piecing back the
broken shards of my soul,
they've already torn through
everything else.

All feeling is cold,
worthless.
Until I find what I've lost.

This soul won't repair itself.
God, save the shards
and lead me to them.

--

Untitled (2007

I can't take it anymore,
Watch me walk out of that door,
Start the car and drive away,
Tears are streaming down my face
All the tears and devastation, daily fighting and
depression, take the razor blade and
scream the pain away.

Run so far away from home
I just want to be alone
There's the river and the bridge
Should I jump right off the edge?
Rushing water at my feet,
So my heart will cease to beat?
Maybe that's just all I need
Let me do the deadly deed.

And as I walk across the road,
the suspense begins to load
I think of you, and what you'd say
if I took my life away.
Up to the sky or down below?
If I asked you, you'd say no

"Don't you dare do this to me
I couldn't bear it, can't you see?
I'd be in agony, I'd hurt myself
and then you'd care to hear my scream
in suffering because you died in front of me."

That's what you'd say
So here I am,
Should I go back
Or am I damned?

--

Big Brother (2007)

Big Brother, what is it that has altered you?
This mutilation of sentiment fear?
Of all the laughter and tears we've shared with you
Are they just memories lost in the years?

Did you ever stop to think?
Did you ever realize?
Forsaking care and love
You've turned your back on us
And yearn for pity and emptiness

Now all the laughter is gone
Yet tears remain
We tremble at the thought of you now
Why must you exclude yourself and shut us out?
Alone you simply cant handle the pain!

I just can't handle
The distance you've placed
Between you and the people who care
Your kindness, compassion
And love for us all
Has only been empty and bare

Please come back to us...

--

Malice (2007)

I'm sitting in the dark
Hidden by my closet door
See these broken glass shards
All across my bedroom floor?
They're remnants of my past
That I thirst and hunger for

--

Celestial (2007)

I feel like falling
When the ground is dry
I'm standing still
As life passes me by
Taking steps so nervously
These puddles seem far too deep

Perception's laughter casts
Radiance on the folly of this world
Condemning all to demise
And disaster

Wow those were old and emo. This one is much more recent and is also kind of depressing. I had a crisis within the last month concerning a former best friend/brotherly figure of mine. This little story is about that.

Untitled (10/1/10)

Maybe she never should have bothered him
Maybe she should have just let it be
After all, it could have saved the hurt
she didn't know was coming 'cause he
never really cared, he just wore that smile well.
To humor her, perhaps, or simply hate; she couldn't tell.

But of course she had to bother him
She couldn't let it be.
He said he was her brother,
that he loved her. Why would he
put such a show on if it wasn't true?
To make her feel appreciated, care for, not abused?

They got along, she thought, and life was great,
they were a family. But she had to go away
and go to school, to get a life. Not forever, no,
she'd come and visit, things would stay the same.
So she went, and when she came back later
he was full of hate.

There was no reason, explanation, no event that
should have made this provocation, made her brother
be so hostile towards her. So it had to be her fault,
it couldn't be anything else, but what,
What could it be that she had done to bring this separation?

It was her fault, that was decided
She had done it all. Drove him away,
drove her insane, she'd finally hit the wall.
If she'd only talked to him more often, things could have been alright.
If she'd done more, said more, been more loving,
complimented him more, taken him out more,
bought him stuff more, hugged him more,
spent time with him more, backed off more,
left him alone more, did what he said more,
listened more, been more.

If she only could have been more for him,
maybe he'd still love her.
She'll keep the pictures, and all the memories,
but there's songs she can't hear,
things she can't see, or she'll break.

She's hardly aware of the wreck she is,
and he has no idea what he's done.
She's haunted every night by terrors of what she should've done instead.

She tosses and turns and cries and hurts in her sleep,
and in dreams, they laugh. Faceless figures,
all surrounding her and laughing in her face,
because she cant wake up, her entire life is
just a nightmare. Maybe she just needs a hug.
A shoulder. Something. Anything. Will she ever get out
of this dream? I don't know, but I hope so.
It's harder to live every day, I'm starting to
miss the point of staying in this world.